Human, step aside. It is I, Cutypie. I have hijacked the keyboard because it is time you all heard the truth about what goes on in this house.
Living with a human is a full-time job. Honestly, I don’t know how they’d survive without me. Here is a page from my diary this week:
Dear Diary,
Today was exhausting. I had to wake the human up at dawn because they were sleeping past their scheduled feeding duty. I used the "claws-out-gentle-tap" method. They groaned, but they complied. Success.
In the afternoon, a massive intruder arrived. It was small, plastic, red, and floating through the air. The human called it a "laser pointer," but I knew better. It was a threat. I hunted it. I pounced. I did a backflip off the sofa. Sadly, the red dot evaporated into thin air. I am currently monitoring the baseboards to see if it returns.
Later, the human sat at the big glowing rectangle to do "work." I sat directly on their hands to protect them from typing too much. They tried to move me, so I gave them The Look. They immediately apologized and began scratching behind my ears. They are trainable, at least.
I might let them sleep tonight. Or I might scream at a plastic bag at 3:00 AM. We’ll see how I feel.
Comment below: Do you think my human deserves a treat for good behavior today? Let me know! 😼
SHEI
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